How much sex will do in a relationship

Do you take a roll in the hay every night, once or
twice a week, monthly or at no particular time? For
the good of your own relationship, how much sex
should you be having? Many couples do find
infrequent sex to be an issue. While some are fine
with the occasional 5-minutes romp under the
sheets, others wish they were getting a whole lot
more.
There are women who worry that their men
demand too much sex and secretly wish they’d
slow down. But a lot more men complain that it is
their women that are not giving it up as often as
they (men) desire.

More than next door
On the whole, the average couple is happy if it
thinks it’s getting more sex than the couple next
door regardless of how much it’s actually getting.
Having more sex than your neighbours can
actually make you happy, and research shows that
couples who have sex at least two to three times a
month are more likely to report a higher level of
happiness than those who who’ve had no sex
during the previous 12 months.
The more sex people have, the happier they tend
to be, even when factors like income, marital
status, health and age are taken into account.
What is more surprising is that even people who
have reasonable amounts of sex report lower
levels of happiness if they think there is a chance
they could be having less sex than their peers.
Conversely, people who think they are getting
more sex than their peers report higher levels of
happiness, even if — in the great scheme of things
— they aren’t having that much sex.
How much is normal?
This sounds like a simple question, but there are
no right answers. What happens when a couple
has what is called mismatched libidos? If she likes
to have sex four times a week and he only once or
twice, of course they want to find out who is the
abnormal one.
Essentially the amount of sex you have will depend
on you and your relationship, and that the ideal
frequency is tricky to pin down.People tend to
have more sex in the early stages of a relationship
and less lately on.But the average does suggest
that a natural sexual frequency is something like
once or twice a week in a committed, long term
relationship.
Many couples will be happy with less, and others
will be at it every night, but if you’re up with the
average at least you can stop stressing about
what’s happening next door and start enjoying
what’s happening in your own bedroom.
At least once a week
Every relationship is different, and the amount of
sex you need is the amount that makes both
partners happy. While there may be no one right
answer to the question of how often couples
should have sex, they should to try to do it at least
once a week.
Pencilling in sex at least once a week means sex
becomes a habit, something you fit in however
busy or stressed you are. Once a week means
you’ll get all the health and wellbeing benefits, too.
So the more you have the better.
Sexless marriages
Generally speaking, a sexless marriage is one in
which a committed couple has sex less than 10
times per year. About 1 in five couples fall into this
category.
This may or may not be an issue, depending on
the couple. Some couples, especially older pairs
who’ve been together a long time, are perfectly
fine with once or twice a year or even not at all,
thank you very much.
Not having sex doesn’t mean these couples aren’t
deeply in love, monogamously committed and
happy together. It just means that sex isn’t as high
a priority for them as it is for some of their friends,
neighbours or people they see on TV and in the
movies.
Spice up your flagging sex life If you and your
partner have gone several weeks or even months
without sex and the lack of activity is troubling you,
usually a little bit of effort is enough to revive your
flagging sex life, especially if the emotional
connection between you and your partner remains
strong.
Try one or more of the following tips
Schedule it: Sounds horribly unromantic, but
really it’s quite the opposite. Plan a relaxing
shower and mutual massage as part of foreplay.
After all, who doesn’t look forward to a massage?
Couples who search together for the right scent of
massage oil are off to a great start.
Mix it up: Perhaps you’ve always had that special
secret fantasy, but you’ve never mentioned it or
acted on it. Now is the time to talk about it with
your partner. Who knows, maybe he or she is
willing to try it. And be sure to ask about his or
her secret fantasy. It might be a turn-on for you,
too. Just make sure that if you both say yes, you
really mean to say yes. No regrets, please.
Go away. If you’ve always done it in the bedroom,
try another room, the kitchen, or a hotel, or a
cabin in the woods. It’s amazing what a little
change of venue can do for a stale sex life.
Be romantic
Give your partner a gift “just because.” Write a list
of things you love about your partner and give it to
him or her. Plan a surprise date that involves an
activity you know your partner enjoys (even if it’s
not your favorite thing to do). Extracted from vanguard news